I am here again! Missed me? Sure you did. Last week’s social media roundup was about a very quiet Big Brother Naija – who some argue is giving all the juices and slime. We also had buzz around a post by a certain Instagram celebrity who posted what some tag: fake deal worth 50 million naira.
This week? We start with Hulk Hogan, or is it Undertaker, who decided to stand in front of a plane, to stop it from taxiing. We don’t know why he decided to be erratically angry, but the man’s got some drama, and it is not the first time he showed some Undertaker skills. Is it because his friend is at Aso…fill it up.
Okay, what else happened this week on social media? Well, mostly X.
The way to become homeless in Lagos
Picture this: You wake in the morning and see a notice on your fence that reads: LASG LISTS 176 ILLEGAL ESTATES, GIVES 21-DAY ULTIMATUM TO PROCESS LAYOUT APPROVALS. You’d definitely be confused, unless you are Wednesday of the Wednesday series. That one likes bad news, so she’d smile. But you? You’ll panic and beat yourself and wonder how dogs run from a rats-infested doom-hole and begin to make unusual afternoon noises. According to a release, you’ll see phrases like “sustainable development ethos blah blah blah.” In that same Lagos? LMAO!!!!
One comment sums it: “Was this ministry created today? Who approved this buildings of estates to go on?”
Nigerian teenager but strong like Russia against the world
So, Nafisa Abdullah Aminu, a 17-year-old, beat 69 other contestants to emerge as the world’s best in English language skills at the 2025 TeenEagle Global Finals held in London, United Kingdom. You proud init? We’re elated from here and wish we had $100,000 and a house in Yobe to give her (the comments reiterate). Ah yes! A National Honour too. But, we don’t use such for optics please. So, let her take her win quietly and lead 20,000 students like a queen.
ChatGPT almost saves the day
Remember the writer (say hater of Nigeria) of a national daily who published the results of the final 2025 WAFCON match between Morocco and Nigeria just after the first half? We suppose wipe am oraimo cord, but we are civilised here and would ask for restraint next time. “Let not your hate overshadow the joy of fulfillment.” This time, a Daily Times social media handler (I guess) use Gen AI and forgot to edit – talk about copying in an exam verbatim.
“Both sides breached standard” – Between KWAM 1 and ValueJet
This was the highlight of the week. King Wasiu Ayinde Marshall must think he is invincible to go in front of a plane. Thank God he did not become news like Buhari recently but he was surely out of line. Anyway, the Minister of Aviation and Aerospace Development (does he do the second part?) said the fuji legend has been placed on a no-fly list pending investigation. Also, the pilot and the captain’s licences have been suspended for wanting to continue to fly a plane…per two wrongs don’t make a right.
Do we shop wrong at ShopRite?
Well, we all jested about the ease of doing business in Nigeria when ShopRite decided to sell some of its outlets to new owners in Nigeria. There is a new analysis of the situation now that the company has completely exited Malawi. “There is a lot of superficial analysis written about Shoprite’s successes and failures at expansion in Africa.” You have to read this one to understand what exactly may be driving the exits. Maybe you can then draw an inference with Jumia still not achieving profitability yet?
Don’t, y’all!!
There are people on Obasanjo’s internet trying to reduce the legacy of our own Michael Jackson to a figment of their low memory imagination and we should not allow it. No offence, but drawing comparisons with any other musician dead or alive is an infraction! Maybe we should not. But, this quote to a Michael Jackson appreciation post is funny:
Our own Burna Boy is agbabiaka?! No respect. He is you people’s daddy. Just like Wizkid, Davido, Olamide is.
EFCC jokes about a corruption issue
In a video, Olanipekun Olukayode, EFCC Chairman, started with a laugh, then talked about setting up a team to check estates across Nigeria, some of which have been abandoned or not completed because they were built or acquired through stolen money. You’ll hear the audience clapping joyfully – Joy that quickly turned to gloom when he mentioned that some may be owned by civil servants, including those in the room. Gbogbo wa ni kini?
Who does the best music?
A certain account on X decided to ’cause trouble’ on X with a question. You already know the handler has an engagement target (like we all do) and just thought: How do I draw a circle and ask people to point fingers at themselves? Easy. Ask them: What country makes the best music? Users are currently arguing like chickens let out of a pen, looking for what or who to poke. You may even see the chickens already using their feet in the sand. Why can’t we just allow things/people to co-exist without comparisons?
Award and later neglect?
Well, well, well. After a group of retired policemen protested neglect, it seems the Force is ready to find a middle ground (because we all know it would not be resolved). So, the IGP decorated some outstanding officers and later met with some representatives of PENCOM, where “major concerns of serving and retired officers towards improved retirement benefits [were discussed]. The IGP is optimistic that in no distant time, all the efforts to ameliorate the pitiable conditions of retired officers would yield positive results.” Pray, my friends, pray.
That’s it for the social media roundup this week! Do you think you can write this? Reach out to me. If you do and I like it, I have something for you.
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