Ancient Romans once believed in a god called Cupid. The story goes that he was the god of erotic love. With his bow and arrow, he decides who is worthy of love, who should fall in love, with whom, and where. He made kings, gods even go mad, drunk in love, all with a sling of his arrow.
Centuries, millenniums even go by and love still falls people in the strangest of places with the strangest of people. That is not to say that Cupid’s charm is everlasting. Regardless of how long it last, or even if it’s reciprocated, these days Cupid’s charm paves the path of social media DMs.
Love in the age of social media has become free for all, unfettered, sort of. So much so that people march on to places like LinkedIn, and company Slack channels to profess their love. After all, the $497.4 million grossing film, Troy is about two powerful nations that go to war over love.
See below, told exclusively to Technext, the strangest scenarios where people have fallen in love on the internet:
Facebook Messager: Wade’s Story
Wade was new to Facebook. No idea how it works. He was a young man, not looking for love. Then he was randomly added to a group by a young woman, he didn’t know. A little “hi” today, a little “hello” tomorrow, and before he knew it, he was in love.
“I was surprised when she chatted me up because I didn’t really have a phone that period,” he said. in those days he was only on the app to scroll through eating his eyes with images. “I just use it to view pictures. Things like that.”
As their relationship progressed, they shuffled between Ikorodu to Surulere to steal time for love. Then the flames stopped burning. After she confessed to infidelity with her neighbour, he abruptly ended the relationship. It lasted 6 months.
LinkedIn: Not that kind of affair
Charles (not his real name) is a media executive and so he gets lots of people who reach out to him on LinkedIn asking for mentorship, that sort of thing. But he doesn’t typically respond. LinkedIn is just not his vibe. So when one person reached out and was persistent, he gave her his private number. But she had other intentions.
You can say she has been struck by Cupid’s arrow and went on to send him messages that were, let’s just say weren’t exactly what you send to a mentor. They were suggestive. “I was like han han? What is happening here? Is this why I gave you my number?”
He cut her off and never gave out his number like that again.
Status: Never happened
Facebook: The love that must be
She was young and on Facebook. And he was young and on Facebook, and they fell in love. They had big dreams. They were going to elope and live happily ever after exactly like in the movies.
But you see, things became a bit completed once their families got involved. Her parents won’t approve. You see, she is from a very well-off family, like BervelyHills well off. Then she moved to Nigeria to see him.
Like in the movies her parents disagreed but the dial had been cast. They got married, and he got a degree from an American University and now works in automobiles.
Facebook Random likes: Church tete a tete
He followed her on Facebook. And she followed him back. He liked her post and said she was decent and she blushed, butterflies in the belle, dry mouth, heart beating so fast, everything moving in slow motion.
“He liked one of my posts and commented on the decency of my pictures,” she said. “We got talking and found out we are from the same state and town,” she added. Then they talked a bit more and a bit more. Until they became love birds.
Status: Hitched for life
Comment Section: Not your best fling
They met in a comment section. He said he can’t remember what she wrote but he loved her comment and so he engaged with it. “We got talking” is how he put it.
They did the usual, followed each other, exchanged numbers and took things to WhatsApp. She lives in Ibadan and he lives somewhere close to Ijebu Ode, and so he was all but sure that it was only a fling, plus she had a boyfriend. Then he said, “she started developing feelings.” But that wasn’t really an issue until she asked him when he would meet her parent. Even though they had been talking for almost two years now, they hadn’t even met physically.
Then he bolted.
Twitter Spaces: Not in your wildest dreams
She had a job but the pay was far from good. It was terrible and so she joined this Twitter Space for professionals. She was thinking she could get something managing the social media account of a company. He was one of the co-hosts of the Space and so when he slid into her DMs, she didn’t find it odd.
But she noticed he wasn’t exactly forthcoming with his intentions. He kept on having random chats with her, asking for her number. She wasn’t comfortable with that so she gave him her Snapchat instead which she was more active on. You know the usual, teasing her around the edges, nothing too bold, nothing too serious. Then he got serious asking her to come to his house somewhere in Ikeja.
She blocked him and that was the end of that.
Status: Boy bye
So there you have it. Sometimes it works out, other times it’s a long shot. This is what love looks like in the age of social media.
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